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Conception to Inception

Updated: Sep 21, 2021

As I walked into the doctor’s office, I saw a woman with a toddler waiting to be seen by the fertility doctor. I reacted the same as any time I saw a small child, my throat tightened up with a lump in the back, and my heart sank. More than anything in the world, all I wanted was to get pregnant and become a mother. Selfishly, I filled with confused anger why this “already” mother would be in a fertility clinic. I couldn’t understand why anyone would purposefully bring a small child into an environment filled with maternal wishing fragile people (namely myself). What I didn’t understand is that infertility is the same uncontrollable helpless feeling no matter what stage in life or how many children you already have. That same desperate feeling of helplessness just makes us want to know the exact reason why and what we must do to solve the problem. The problem is, it’s usually not that easy. Looking back, even if someone told me the secret to getting pregnant was running around the block naked with a banana peel on my head, I would have done it.

Infertility makes you question everything in your life. Questions like: Do I deserve this because of the prayers I had hoping I wasn’t pregnant when I was younger? What about when I took those diet pills years ago, did it affect my hormones? The obsessive thoughts never go away, and all I tried to do is turn the channel in my brain so I can be somewhat present in everyday life. I worked in retail at the time, and I would give myself my fertility shots in the bathroom the nights I needed to “close” the store. Confiding in my store manager who went through a similar life challenge, she said to me, “Becky, a lot of people go through many things in life, this is just your ‘thing’. You will get through it”. Her advice was welcomed, and the support meant the world to me, especially since I felt so alone in the process.

In 2008, I had In-Vitro (IVF), and my beautiful twin boys are 13 years old. A few years after they were born, I remember my neighbor that had one young son already, was having difficulty getting pregnant again. She started taking some “beginners” fertility medicine, and I remember thinking she would probably conceive quickly and not need to do IVF like me, I mean… what would be the chances that two young women needing such an invasive procedure living next to each other in order to get pregnant? Weeks turned into months, and she too had a beautiful boy with the help of IVF. It wasn’t until just two years ago, that I started reflecting on my fertility journey that started almost 15 years ago. The reason is that I started becoming more curious about my health as I turned 40 and interested in more holistic remedies and healthier lifestyle.

This holistic and thoughtful process was accelerated by the infamous COVID-19 pandemic, and as I researched what I was putting in my body, I also started to become more conscious about what I was putting on my body. “Lotions and potions” have always been an important part of my daily routine, from deliciously scented body moisturizers to anti-acne/anti-wrinkle creams for my face. A cosmetics employee and self-proclaimed beauty junkie, I am always looking for products that evoke my senses but that are equally as effective. I have also spent thousands of dollars over the years on laser treatments, just to find that after 6 months to a year my melasma, dull skin, and clogged pores would be the same if not worse. I never looked at ingredients as I was more interested in the “promise” of the product.

AYI Beauty not only promises but commits to providing clean, cruelty free products that are dermatologist formulated and clinically proven to work. What is important is that for the first time in 7 years I cancelled my children’s acne subscription that is full of potentially harmful toxic ingredients that are illegal in other countries such as Europe. Yes- you read that right, illegal. For me? Well… the mirror speaks for itself. Medical grade skincare that provides clinically proven results. AYI takes clean to a whole other level, providing clinical skincare direct to your door. On, you will find the Safe Cosmetics and Personal Care Products Act of 2018. Over the next few weeks, we will dive into this bill that is in limbo, and the benefits it could potentially provide for us and our children.

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